Emily Onkey has a gift for making people feel instantly at ease. As co-founder and Chief Marketing Officer of Aplós, a non-alcoholic functional spirits brand redefining the modern bar, she’s spent years thinking deeply about ritual, connection, and how we gather. That same perspective shapes the way she hosts at home. Emily starts with the occasion, not the aesthetics, and designs her gatherings to feel open, comfortable, and human. Doors are literally open when weather allows, drinks are self-serve, and there’s often a puzzle on the table inviting guests to linger. She believes the most memorable gatherings are about how people feel when they leave, not how everything looked. Her philosophy is refreshingly honest: no one is keeping score, perfection is overrated, and your only real job as a host is to help people have a good time.

Q: When you’re planning a gathering, where do you always start?

A: I always start with the occasion. Everything else flows from that. Once you’re clear on why you’re gathering, the menu, the drinks, and the setup tend to make more sense.

That mindset sets the tone for Emily’s hosting philosophy overall. Purpose first, polish second.

Q: What are your favorite ways to break the ice when guests arrive?

A: I like to have the doors open if weather permits so people can walk right in. I always do a self-serve bar with everything someone would need, and we usually have a puzzle out on the table. It feels warm and inviting and gives people something low-pressure to do together while chatting over a cocktail.

It’s subtle, but intentional. These small cues tell guests they can relax and help themselves.

Q: If you had a limited budget for a dinner party, what would you prioritize?

A: Vegetables as a centerpiece! They’re beautiful, affordable, and feel unfussy in the best way.

This is a great reminder that tablescapes don’t need to be expensive or overly elaborate to be impactful.

Q: What makes a gathering truly memorable?

A: For a dinner, the mix of people and the seating chart are critical. For casual gatherings, getting people involved takes the pressure off and helps them feel at home. On my birthday, I told everyone to come in sweats. It was so homier and easier to relax. Removing any pretense made it such a fun party.

Q: What advice would you give to someone overwhelmed by hosting?

A: Start small. I’m a very reluctant cook, so I lean into other areas and either order in or make sides and ask a friend to grill. I’ve messed up so many things. Once I made the grossest meal for a friend and felt awful, but afterward I realized how little it mattered. Everyone is there to have a good time. That’s really your only job. Also, Goldbelly is your friend.

If there’s one takeaway here, it’s permission to let go.

Q: What’s your signature drink to serve when hosting?

A: A French 75 with Aplós Calme and Wolffer Spring in a Bottle as a non-alcoholic cocktail. For a traditional option, I love a Contratto Spritz with cava. It’s basically a much less sugary Aperol Spritz.

Q: What’s always on your dinner party playlist?

A: Our Aplós playlists, of course. We build them off our commission series, so there’s something for every mood.

Music, like everything else Emily hosts with, is about atmosphere rather than attention-grabbing moments.

Q: What’s your favorite Party trick?

A: Keeping a running list in the notes app on my phone of things I wish we’d had or need to replenish. It eliminates so much last-minute scrambling.

A simple habit that pays off every single time.

Q: The most memorable gathering you’ve ever attended?

A: My friend Shawn’s 50th birthday trip in Italy. A very special group of people in a beautiful place. It was a perfect week. I felt equal parts spoiled and grateful, which is an idyllic feeling for guests to leave with.

That balance of gratitude and care is a throughline in how Emily thinks about hosting.

Q: Favorite products or brands you love using when you host?

A: Focusing just on glassware: Roman & Williams, Mamo, Hudson Wilder, Astier de Villatte, CB2, vintage pieces, Lobmeyr, and Gohar World.

To see how Emily brings her relaxed, intentional approach to life and hosting into the everyday, follow her on Instagram at @carstenkey and explore the world of Aplós at @aplos.world.

And if this conversation has you dreaming up a gathering of your own, Partytrick makes it easier to bring it to life. With curated templates, smart planning tools, and everything in one place, Partytrick helps you host beautifully without the overwhelm. Create a free Partytrick account and start planning with more ease and intention.